Once upon time, about 6 or so years ago, we’d go on the cutest dates. Think picnics right beside Lake Taupo, early morning wakeup’s and walks, followed by elaborate brunch and lunch dates. It’s now 2017 and we’ve gone from sexy pj’s and cute dates to $10 Warehouse tracksuit pants, sharing Thai delivery out of the box, while binge watching Brooklyn Nine Nine.
Yes, the tracksuit pants match.
I can already hear you thinking to yourself, wow have they lost the magic spark? Uh, no way. The man I live with can light a fire in winter better than any man I know.
And by fire, I mean actual fire because mates, Christchurch is feckin cold.
Putting humour aside for a second, and coming back to reality is that sometimes I do wonder to myself, is being this comfortable OK? Don’t I miss the cute stuff? Don’t I wish he’d come home in a suit and tie, flowers, my favourite chocolates (anything hazelnut truffle btw and gerberas are my flower of choice)
Sure. Of course, I do. But also, reality check. Priorities change and relationships grow. We’re no longer 22-year-old renters, who sleep till 10-11am in the morning, and stay up till 2am out with friends. Ok 4am. How the hell did we ever manage to stay awake I’ll never know.
Anyway, let me get back to my point.
I am constantly hearing about girls (in particular) who are wishing for that, let’s call it, Instagram relationship. You know the ones where they’re always glamorously dressed up, all over each other, on the most expensive dates, jewellery is the gift of choice and you just think “why not me”
6 years ago, I wanted that, I wanted him to sweep me off my feet. Come home with my favourite candy, and flowers, and hell, a ring (ok shout out to bae I’m still keen on the ring part). Now, I come home from work, I am exhausted, my feet hurt, I am hungry asf and he’s outside, weeding our hecker of a garden, walking the dogs and then he’s doing the dishes.
He’s just gone and done three things I now don’t have to do, and I want to pash him for it.
Growing and changing is part of life not only as an individual, but as a couple too and the cute dates and elaborate gestures don’t have to be what they started out as, nor do they have to cost a freakin arm and a leg. So what if you’re in your ugliest of outfits and he’s doing something as simple as the above mentioned.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re also there to piss you off.
But. He loves you, he’s not dressed in those sexy sweats with anyone else. Embrace the heck out of it, throw your hair in a bun, smother your face in your favourite clay mask, walk out to the lounge, burp and take the remote off him and put on the show he hates the most.
Here are my things I think people need to remember when they’re in a long-term relationship and are feeling a bit of the ‘insta envy’
- Make time for each other for the cute stuff, but don’t force it
- Remember to say thank you
- It’s the small things that count
- Don’t go to bed angry
- Thai food fixes most problems, stir in some Andy Samberg and you’ve got a winner
- You don’t have to leave the house to enjoy a romantic date
- But you should turn off your electronics from time to time and look up at each other
- Age changes things – bodies especially. hahaha
- Not everything you see on the internet is what’s portrayed in reality
- No relationship is the same – stop comparing yourself to others. You’re cool too you know
If you love one another, in my opinion you don’t need a lot to get through life together, as long as you have each other, the rest are simply add ons that you’re lucky to have.
And remember, if you’re feeling a bit low and like you’ve lost the spark, it’s not always the other person that has to step up. You can treat your partner too you know.
*As always, what works for me may not work for you. Everyone is different and I am not a relationship guru and trust me mine isn’t perfect. He literally just ate crackers, left crumbs everywhere and walked off and I am now like *rage*